More Caleb

Because I am completely shameless. . .

FREEEEEEEEE

This week a lot of free goodies arrived at my house. Naturally, the rapturous event nearly left me speechless due to the fact that at the begining of all of this I never expected to recieve anything much less the POISE!!!!!

And just for aesthetic purposes. . .

and because I am basically completely enamoured. I should also like to point out that this is a BIG difference between infatuation & obsession.

Kings Of Leon

So, this past Friday, my brother and I adventured down to San Diego for a little KOL action, and let me tell you something - never in my life have I seen a show like this one, and I have seen a lot of shows and I am very biased towards certain performers (namely afireinside) and this one blew me away.

First off, our seats albeit not on the floor (which would have been preferred) were basically in the dead center of the venue and we had a perfect view. Caleb Followill & co. were naturally looking stunning (ohmygodsogorgeous) and they played great. Their performance was the closest to the actual album as I have ever seen a band perform before (Britney exempt 'cause that bitch be 'syncin.) They squeezed in every last one of their really good songs, which basically consisted of their entire new cd and most of their 1st, 2nd & 3rd records too. Their encore pushed 30 minutes (OHMYGOD RIGHT?!) That was a first for me. Mostly bands come out with one MAYBE two songs for the encore, but these bitches gave us five or six more. Hot damn.

So yeah. Awesome show. Despite all of the traffic getting down there and accidentally getting lost and taking us an hour or so out of our way on the way home. Ha ha. Leave it to me.

Duh

CRASHLOVE

Ok, so the brand new AFI record is coming out next month, and anyone who knows anything about me probably already knows that its basically the only thing I can manage to think about. These promo pictures just(?) came out. I think I almost peed myself. I feel like a thirteen year old again. Give me my chains and black lipstick - I am ready to go fangirlie.

SHAMELESS

So I'm going to have to be completely honest with you - I amuse myself. Therefore, you too must also be amused by me. I thought these were funny. . .

TROJAN!

Another treasure was delivered to me today. Now I just need a reason to use it. Ha ha.

Also, I recieved this email reminding me not to be too impatient (which I am). The free STD cream is on its way.

By the time I'm finished working at Petco, I'm going to need to lather this stuff all over my entire body. . . Something just tells me. . .

Today, Petco spit up a piece of fresh new meat. Its tall & it has long hair, plugs & tight pants. Its probably 18, but I am just THAT shameless.

As soon as I was alerted to his entrance into the building, I was scoping. Of course it wasn't long at all before I was flirting with him. I only need moments.

Upon closer examination (and with the help of my gm) I made myself known and got myself introduced. It will only be a matter of days before I have him getting in trouble for sitting in the grooming salon.

NEXT PLEASE!

Now we have "True Life: I Dont Like My Small Breasts". All right. Something I can relate to now.

These girls gotta wear three push ups to even get a little bit of cleavage. I am truly not alone.

For those of us who cant afford the plastic surgery route there is still natural breast enhancement to consider.

Creams and supplements here I come!

I am watching True Life: I Dont Like My Large Breasts. I kind of feel bad for these girls, but at the same time I dont have any sympathy for them. Feel free to share some of your boobie fat with some of us less endowed ladies.

One of these chicks is only a DD too! Seriously now?? One girl is a FF & the other one a G, and you wanna bitch about your DD? Gotta be kidding. Thats nothing. And she's willing to move and she whines to her husband & he doesnt care and she looks fine. So ridiculous.

I cant even imagine having boobs that big. Mine are minimal. Average at best if not below. I cant even get damn cleavage over here.

Even Ms. G's tits dont look that big. I am having a really difficult time respecting these women. They all want breast reduction surgery. Not because they have back pain or anything, because "they just look too big".

Shut yuuur damn mouths!

I told you I would have more. . .

Acceptable - Getting into someone else's car and asking to turn down the radio.

Not Acceptable - Getting into someone else's car and turning OFF THE DAMN RADIO WITHOUT ASKING!!!

oh my god. definitely one of my biggest pet peeves. bitches best not do this in my car unless they want a nice slappin coming their way.

Just so ya know

Acceptable

• Spending time outside for a less pallor look
• Wearing clothes that show off your assets
• Natural looking makeup for summer
• Messy hot bed hair
• Tearing your clothes for a fashion statement
• Being comfortable with who you are
• Proving a valid point
• Catching up with your friends over coffee
• Sending a text when you get into somebodies car
• Getting involved and offering your sympathy

Not Acceptable

• Heading to Mystic Tan for that orange look
• Wearing clothes that show off your chub rolls
• Not wearing any makeup for summer
• Literally rolling out of bed and not doing your hair
• Wearing clothes that are so old they have holes
• Being too comfortable with who you are
• Always having to prove a point
• Catching your friend up on yourself over coffee
• Carrying on a cell phone conversation when you get in somebodies car
• Getting involved and offering your opinion

Keep checking. You know there'll be more soon.

Lady Fatima

HOLLER! More free-ness arrived in the mail for me today. My religious goodies showed up! Two mega ghetto rosaries and some Lady Fatima Holy Agua. Said rosaries also included instructions (!) and a list of mos' pop' Catholic prayers. I'm way stoked as of right now. WAY. The Holy Water is also most splendid. Very little amount of it there is, but THERE IS nonetheless.

I knew the Catholics wouldn't let me down. If I actually use the rosary the way the instructions tell me to, maybe I can redeem some good karma for a change. ha. ha. ha.

Quickie

Here in summary are things that I have concluded in the past four(ish) days. I surmise you are quite interested. Here, in bullet points, I have sumarized everything for you.

• Men are completely incapable of realizing their wrong-doings. Unless of course they are homosexuals or are mentally handicapped.
• We all already know this one, but I'll say it again - Bad karma follows me around like a lonely dog.
• Cosmetology school is a total bust
• So are people who blatanly take advantage of me with no remorse
• I love protein smoothies
• I don't like paying bills
• I have a very low tolerancy for men BUT
• My feelings towards them are now more that of amusement for their adundance of obliviousness instead of irritation for their abundance of obliviousness

AND

• 30SecondsToMars owns just as much now as they did in Junior year

Take It From Me.

Alright, so last Sunday I made a HUGEEFFINGPOINT to complain about my bad karma and how shitty my life was.

Can I take that back in exchange for all of the bad karma I have acquired SINCE I wrote that post? Ay Mi Dios, Mijos! Do yourselves a big ole favor and DO NOT complain when things really aren't that bad. Every single day this week has just gotten progressively worse. Not to mention the entire time I have still been sicker than a dog.

JESUS STILL BE TAKIN'!

and u know what else?

Jesus totally bitch slapped me this week, because I had the nerve to complain and say that he didn't want me to be happy and guess what now?

MOS' DEF' NOT HAPPY.

Last Sunday? Disappointed, but overall still pretty happy. Today? Not happy.

I have a big mouth that I need to learn how to shut before I go all around town tellin people how much my life sucks.

Insatiable, ungrateful, slanderous child I am.

Hoveround

Alright. Round two of the free shit arrived. This time around was even more disappointing than my "Outofyourlife" experience. FINALLY effing Hoveround sends me something. Is it my survey? No. Is it my informative DVD? Of course not. Is is a sticker? Hells no it aint. All I get is a stinkin' letter expressing their appreciation for my interest in their product and something about insurance and HMO's for me to send back in.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Good way to let me down, Hoveround. Good way to let me down. Thank Jesus I don't actually need a wheelchair. Otherwise I would have been highly incapacitated for weeks now!

At this point I am seriously considering complying with them just in the effort of trying to get what I really want from them. I was promised a damn DVD! I talked to a damn representative on the phone! WHERE IS MY DVD, HOVEROUND!!! I need a visual on all of the different activities I can perform while riding my Hoverround.

I will admit that there was one pretty saucy part to this whole situation. Which is this -

"This little round chair has sure given me my life back!"
- Clancy Soucie Jr.
Actual Hoveround Owner

No Doubt

Last night I managed to make it to my second concert of the week, despite my weak and probably contagious condition. Saw No Doubt at Irvine Meadows with Casey Lee and Mr. Jason Sywak.

My fever left me completely drenched by the time we made it to our seats, BUT the show was excellent. Katy Perry opened along with The Sounds (didnt bother to watch them. probably didnt miss out on anything.) Ms. Perry however was, err, how do I say this - manish?manly?awful sounding?cant really sing. . . I love her, but she should stick to studio recordings. The whole "live" thing just isn't really working out for her. Perhaps she was just having a bad night, but I'm figuring the chances are that she just has a wretched voice naturally.

No Doubt, of course, was quite impressive. Gwen is a goddess. Gorgeous, infallible, aweinspiring goddessness. She was on. Very on. As was the rest of the band. I did little or no dancing or singing along due to my aforementioned condition, but enjoyed myself and the company nonetheless.

As usual, at any concert really, the sights were plentiful. Many, many good things to see. Jason's neighbor to the right was a very entertaining young man who bore his heart to the world in declaration for his love of No Doubt. I have never in my entire life witnessed such heartfelt singing and interperetively impressive dance "moves". Although we bet his "song" was going to be Don't Speak, it turned out that the song to really get his wheels cranking was Just A Girl. The man practically bust a nut all over the row in front of us when the first riff begain. I knew right then and there I had met the man of my dreams and certainly as quickly as he entered our lives he also exited. Where is he now? We shall never know. Brilliant, brilliant dancer he was.

Leaving the venue was a tragically awful event. I touched so many bodies. Ewww gawwwd. I almost feel badly for this now knowing that I am for sures a "carrier". Poor chaps. It took us a very long long time to finally reach the car. After which we settled in for the trip out of the parking lot. Casey Lee and "big white" next to us got in a slight tiff over merging rights. Naturally, Casey's illustrious charm won us the battle.

I was severely nauseous the entire way home, but denied the need to vomit while inside of the vehicle. Spare them boys I figured at best.

Overall the night was a blast and I was super duper happys to be spending time with some very special people and also Kc & Jaydizzle.

tattoos

Some of or all of the art that is most likely going to complete my arm (!) It is merely coincidental that it is all art by Alan Forbes, that happens to all be album art for AFI. Whatevs. I am shameless.

The bats in the background are already on my arm now.

This is really awesome and is something like what I want mine to look like, to put it into more realistic terms.